To Just Be

It is mid afternoon now as I sit here with a Diet Pepsi in one hand and the love of my life sitting next to me.   I have been in the same spot now for almost six hours when he asks me what I am thinking about.  

As I look out over my gardens, I am able to honestly say that there is not a thought running through my mind at the moment.  Sure I have said that in the past three months, but perhaps it was something I was thinking that was not ready to be shared, or perhaps there wasn't enough time to have the conversation.   Today, however, there is nothing running through my mind, it is calm.  

The noise of the past three months which consisted of statistics, schedules, training-both work and marathon, and the kids' school, have for the most part gone away.    As of Friday I am again working only two jobs, which is a much better balance for our schedule.   The kids are done with their tests and homework because the final week of school consists of mainly fun days, as it should.   One week ago today, I completed something I never thought I would be able to do.   

Those noises are fading, being replaced with the sounds that are like a healing balm to my soul.   The wind blowing in the trees causing my new wind chime to create a beautiful melody.  Birds joyfully singing as they splash in the newly cleaned bird bath.   A baseball is being caught in a leather glove at the park behind our house.   

Today is the first time in a long time that I have been able to just sit.  Sit, without the nagging feeling that I need to be doing something or going somewhere.  Sit, without having to say anything, think anything, process anything.  Today I was able to sit and just be.