Remembering the Promises

The voices began as whipsers when it happened.

"How could you do that?   It is not like you to....."  

I fought back telling myself that everyone has a bad day, or a moment when something just doesn't work right.   If only it had stopped there.   However,  last week was one of those weeks where anything and everything that could go wrong, did.   The voices grew louder each and every day until they were practically screaming at me.

"Really?  How could you do THAT?   What is WRONG with you?"  

The entire week the voices and accusations grew louder and my insecurities grew stronger.   Waves upon waves of guilt washed over me for everything and anything that was going on in, around, and yes, sometimes even near our family.   If it was not going right, it must be my fault because everything else seemed to be.  It was one of those weeks where I was was being pulled down by the undercurrent, and I wondered when I would be able to break free again. 

Saturday morning as I looked in the mirror while getting ready for the day, I began to tell myself the truths that I have been learning in the book we are reading for our small group.  

I am not a failure, I am loved by God. 
I have made mistakes, but I am forgiven by God.
I am not insignificant, I am chosen by God.
I am not abandoned, I am cherished by God. 

As I began to tell myself these things, the insecurities slowly receeded and I was beginnng to feel the firm soil beneath my feet again.   I continued telling myself these things and the voices began to quiet.

Now in the beginning of a new week, the voices still attempt to break through and the insecurities try to swell, but I push them back, remembering the promises that I am learning.   I also find comfort in the resources around me today.    In catching up with blog reading today, I ran across a post on Pete Wilson's blog.   In this post, he talks about his insecurities that he felt last week.  A pastor, author, and blogger (an he is pretty good at the writing end of the spectrum in my opinion, although I have never heard him speak.),  I am amazed that he is struggling with feeling inadequate like I am.   He mentions that insecuirty will "erode your effectiveness and leave you useless and powerless."  Yep, that sums up how I feel about my week last week.   But here is the best part, I absolutely love how he ends the post,

"Be yourself. Live your giftedness. Listen to the voice of 

your Creator which is the only voice that really matters 

and tell those other voices to shut up."

I will continue today what started yesterday, telling the other voices to be quiet because I am going to listen to the promises of my God and have a much better week because of it.