Taking a Stand

We have been watching a video series at church that is completely and totally rocking me to the core.  I listen to these words and while my heart is cheering, "Yes, this is what I believe!   I agree!"   The other part of me is weeping wanting everyone to hear this message, embrace the truths, and love.   Just love.   Love despite differences.   Love without abandon.   But I know the controversy that these messages have created, you don't have to search the web very far to know that.   And so, my heart weeps.   Weeps for a love that is lost.  

We are so quick to get on our soap boxes and "stand up" for what we believe.   What we claim a "right of free speech" has become proverbial yelling to anyone who will listen.   Even if we don't want to listen or don't agree, we have no choice but to see the "free speech" filling the different feeds of social media we choose to use.   Love is not splashing our views of everything bad out on the web, intolerant of another.   Love is not telling people who they are, what they believe, or what they like is wrong and immoral.

Aren't we called to love others?   To bring them into the love that God has for us?   What I read on my facebook page is not compelling.   Rather it is completely the opposite.   Why would someone want to come to know Jesus, when people who claim to follow him do nothing but hurl insults and condemnation?   I know Jesus and I am turned off by it.    I am ready to turn off the social media or do some serious cleaning out of those whose opinions I do have filtering into my feeds.  I doubt He is very pleased with it either. 

No, my heart is weeping because of the lack of love.   He showed us how to love.  We, of anyone should know what it is to live in grace.   Did He, perfect in every way, accept, love, and forgive me, a sinner?   What right do I have then, as a sinner, to condemn anyone else?   If nothing else, I should be walking along side those who are far from him, supporting, loving, forgiving, and offering grace.  I know how sweet that gift is, why withhold it from others? 

Is the parable of the king forgiving the debts of a man, who immediately upon pardon runs to another demanding his money, so quickly forgotten?   The debt that I have been forgiven is no less important than the next person's debt.   Our struggles may be different, but they are all sin.

Today, I am not taking a stand on any political or social issues.   The only stand that I am taking today is the stand of loving others.   That each person, no matter who they are, deserves to be loved, forgiven, and shown grace because in truth, there is only one who can claim to be perfect.   The rest of us fall short and need forgiveness.

Celebrating Ten Years

Ten years ago a friend of mine asked me if I would teach her daughter piano lessons because she was having trouble finding a teacher that would take someone who was so young. 

Me?

I haven't touched a piano in four or five years!

What on earth could I possibly teach someone about piano?

Where do I start?

What books do I use? 

I'm. so. scared!



"Sure, I'd love to!"  And thus without my knowing it began a new chapter in my life. 

I thought this was just a short term commitment until my friend's daughter was old enough to be accepted by another teacher.   God saw it differently.   Starting with just three students, it quickly grew to five students, then six and seven.   I had no idea what I was doing and was learning as I was going.    In less than a year, I had enough students to fill the time I had available with Mark working full time and a one year old running around the house. 

God has used these ten years as a faith journey: 

• Stepping outside my comfort zone
• Overcoming the childhood fear of playing in front of people
• Trusting Him to provide for our family 
• Discovering new talents and joys I didn't know I had

I have enjoyed the opportunity to work with many students, and have learned from each of them.   I have learned about myself and what it is to be patient and understanding.   I have learned about life in general and how to relate to different people.  They taught me how to love music, wasn't that supposed to be my job?!  I am grateful for the people who have sat at the piano with me as we learn and grow together.   I appreciate the parents who have trusted me to work with each student, many of you have become close friends as well. 

To each of my students and their parents, present and past, I thank you. 

Getting Ready for Middle School

As we stand by the door, ready to part ways, I know how you feel.   You may not believe me, but it is true.   You look hesitantly to the door.  The other side holds the unknown, something bigger, something new.   I see it in your eyes, you are processing what that new unknown could look like. 

I know from experience what is on the other side of that door.   It is bigger, it is new, and yes, there is a part that is unknown.... even for me.   But it will be good, I can tell you that.   Today those doors look scary but I promise you this, soon, crossing those doors will be easy.  Soon, you will not be hesitant, you will be confident with brand new experiences under your belt.   You will be a different person than you are today.  

The other side of those doors offer you the opportunity to learn, to grow, to develop new ideas, and new thoughts.    You will learn about the world and you will learn about yourself.  You will meet new people, some who will support you, some who will challenge you, and some who won't treat you well.   All of this is exciting and at the same time scary for me as well.

You probably think this is easy for me to leave you by the doors of this place.   You probably think I walk away and don't think about how you are doing amid a sea of new faces and personalities.   I know it feels that your friends are not near right now, I feel that for you.  But I know you will shine as you have done though the years.   You are strong and steadfast with a lot to offer these new acquaintances.

No, it is not easy for me to leave you at these doors with so many unknowns.  Will it always be easy, no.  Definitely not.   Will there be bumps in the road, absolutely.   Will we get through it?  I have no doubt.   I cannot wait to see the friends you make, the interests you pursue, and the person you will be come. 

As we part ways, I tell you I am praying for you.   And I am.   I pray that you see that almost everyone sitting next to you is feeling the same thing.   You are not the only one who is apprehensive.    I am praying that you will encouraged and excited.   I am also  praying that the wonderful person that God made you to be shines though so that others can see how wonderful I know you are.

A "New Normal"

My "new normal" as a friend put it.    I couldn't have picked a better way to describe life and the amazing amount of changes that happened to our family in the month of May.   Despite that we are in the second half of the month of June, I find that I am still trying to get a grasp on what our "new normal" will look like.

I don't know if I can totally process all of the changes, and some of it will be just going to the motions until it becomes routine.   Then the "new normal" will just be "normal".   Perhaps I am struggling because as I tend to do, I have put myself on a schedule.  As I get ready for the day today, I ask myself, "How can I put myself on a schedule to process this information?"   I can't.   Maybe that is why my mind won't move forward.  

Working full-time.  After eleven years of being self employed, and working various part-time jobs, I find that I am searching.   Searching for what life will now look like.  I know where I am at is part of His plan.   How could it not be?   The timing, the open doors, everything falling into place so easily.   Truthfully I am very fortunate, and I know that.  But, a small part of me feels that some things I was excited about and passionate about are now on hold or will never happen. What do I do with those now?

Michal Zacharzewski, SXC

At this stage of the game, I don't see how the two will gel, the plans I had before and the way my life seems to be going now.  Who knows, perhaps there is a way that this step leads me in the direction of those passions and plans.   Maybe those plans where "my" plans and not "His" plans? 

I know His timing is always perfect.   And I find comfort in the fact that in looking back over my life, He has always prepared me for the next step.   I didn't always realize it at the time, but He ever so gently took my hand and walked ahead of me paving the way to where I am today.

So as I sit here, with questions and curiosity about the next step, feeling like there is a change of direction in my life, I know that He is preparing me for the future.  I may not completely know or totally understand what that looks like, but I do know without a doubt, that when I do reach that next step, I will look back to today and know that this was part of His plan, and I will be so grateful for this part of the journey.

Three Days

What a gift my sister gave us when she called and asked us if we could watch the girls for three days.   The days have been full of laughter, playing, smiles, but most importantly cousin bonding time.

Thank you, dear sister, for giving us time to enjoy and love your girls for a few days!   

Breathe

As the day has progressed, there is one constant thought or feeling that encompasses the whole day.  Breathe.   While the sun is shining in sky which is the shade of blue that I love most, the breeze is blowing.   The wind chimes are singing their songs, the breeze is taking away the stresses and pressure that has been building up for the past few weeks.  I can breath again.   It is not the hurried, quick inhale of breath to get me to the next appointment, event, or activity.   No, it is the deep inhale that brings in the calm and the cleansing exhale that takes the tense, frantic, frazzled feelings away. 

We spent the morning catching up on cleaning the house, something that really needed to be done.   As order came to the stacks of papers, and dust was lifted off the surfaces, I felt like I was able to breathe.   Laundry is now caught up and I was able to even do a few extra loads that are not part of the mountain of clothes that I face every week, and I began to breathe a little more easily.  

The humidity that was present this morning moved out with the breeze and we opened the windows allowing the fresh air and bird's song to fill the house.   Again I breathe.    I couldn't stay indoors today, it was just to beautiful and I have spent the past three weeks indoors.   I need to get outside, so we took a blanket, settle under our tree, and read.  I was now able to relax.   





My kids have had healthy meals and snacks today.   It feels good to know that their bodies are being fueled the proper way with nutrients they need to grow and function on rather than the hurried convenience foods of the past weeks.   Another breath of fresh air fills my lungs.  

Today, beginning the week that I have been looking forward to for a long time, was everything that I needed and wanted it to be.   A day spent with my children, relaxing, and just being together.  

Perfect Weekend

It has been a long time since I have posted here on a regular basis, and I am missing that.   This past weekend was eventful, yes, but at the same time, very relaxing. 

Friday, my brother-in-law got married.   The wedding was beautiful, Mark and the kids were part of the wedding party.  Addy could not wait to be a part of the wedding and wear a fancy dress.   It is the first wedding she remembers being part of.   We took her to get her hair done, she looked elegant and all grown up. 

Saturday I spent the day relaxing with friends and family in the backyard.   The weather was perfect, the conversation wonderful, sometimes those kind of days cannot be planned.

Today we celebrated Mother's Day with my parents and my sister and her family.   It was another day of conversations, this time on the screened in porch.

The days of sitting outside enjoying the beautiful weather brought the calm that my mind has been so desperately craving.   I was able to set aside all of the event of the past month and just be.   What a refreshing break from the rush of life that has been.

Tonight I am not anxious to leave that calm, but a new adventure is just around the corner, and while I am somewhat nervous, at the same time, I am very excited as well!